19 December 2010

Isaiah 7:10-16
Psalm 80:1-7, 17-19
Romans 1:1-7
Matthew 1:18-25

Oh isn’t this fun, isn’t this droll? Mary, engaged to be merrily married to Joseph, but: Mary, with child, except not by her spouse. “A star fell on my house, and something ruptured . . . my eardrum,” claims the head of the no-longer maiden, Mary, our not very lady of the ultra wrong-side-of-the-tracks. Joseph! Now you have heard what Mary says occurred. Yes, it may be so . . . but is it likely? No.

12 December 2010

Isaiah 35:1-10
Psalm 146:5-10
James 5:7-10
Matthew 11:2-11

John the Baptist, in jail. “OK, Jesus, are you really the Messiah? Or should I wait for someone else to show up? And if you are Messiah, then why is my butt in this blasted jail? Look at everything I’ve done for the sake of the Kingdom of God. I gave up fine food and fed instead on locusts and wild honey. I gave up fine clothing and wore a stinking, hot, itchy robe of camel’s hair. I gave up all hopes of house, home, and family and took to the desert to be close to God – and, may I remind you Jesus, dear cousin, all this to prepare people for your coming. For you, I was preaching repentance so that when you finally made yourself known, there would be a mighty army of the righteous to rise up against the infidel and to restore Jerusalem to the glory due it as the place of God’s dwelling. I railed against the corrupt temple authorities – who by virtue of their collusion with the Empire and with Herod, the Empire’s lame tool – had the power to have me killed – and who now, with me in this stinking prison cell seems  indeed have gained the upper hand. So – are you going to be Messiah, are you really going to shake off the yoke of Rome and assume your throne upon Temple mount? Please tell me you’re just waiting for the right moment to attack. Or should I tell my followers to look for another, someone else to get me out of this hell-hole so that we can amass an army of the truly righteous and overthrow this world’s tyrants?”

5 December 2010

Isaiah 11:1-10
Psalm 72:1-7, 18-19
Romans 15:4-13
Matthew 3:1-12

John the Baptizer comes shrieking and shrill: “You brood of vipers. The axe is lying at the root of the trees – ready to cut them down and throw their dead branches to the fire.” John has a not-nice job to do – to make ready for the Way-who-is-to-come. “Repent,” cries John. “Change your mind – all the shopworn fables you hold close and dear, all the tawdry tales you’ve been told – as dead as these stones. Your birth names can gain you nothing, nor all your temple sacrifices, nor your ethical kernel, idealistic background and most certainly not your religious feeling. More stone cold than these stones: your conduct, poise, and race; not to mention, personality, sexuality, and taste; and forget about good, forceful character – that’s an illusion that makes the angels of heaven laugh themselves sick at its combustible absurdity.”

It is the prophet’s horrible job, it’s John-the-horrible-prophet’s job to point it all out, what everyone knows but will pretend to death won’t ever be so. It’s John Prophet’s job to tell us that the world according to the world is more dead than even death. And it is to the distaste of the many that the prophet must say: “Kiddies, Cinderella will become a hag and her prince a frog and no amount of kissing will change him. Snow White’s pallor and her apple-rosy cheeks, consumption of course, and no matter how much will she and Mimi sing out, both die – and not only will the prince not live happily ever after, but Grumpy, Sleepy, and Dopey – they’ll remain as they are and Doc will be sued for malpractice. And beautiful Belle? Well. She’ll sooner than later discover that: she can’t change the beast and his devotion to Jack – Daniel’s, that is.”

And while he’s on a roll, the prophet holds up an onlooker’s doll, Barbie, as luck or something would have it – “You think you can flee from the wrath to come? Look, Barbie’s hair – it’s fake and falls out, and her waist and ankles will thicken and grow, and as for all her perky parts, well, what cancer doesn’t get, gravity will. And as for you, buff boys of the gym, the marathon, and the Iron Man race, guess what? Your bodies and their parts will fail you as well, from dust thou art come and unto dust thou shalt go and perhaps even before the expiration date on that bottle of Viagra you keep hidden in your sock drawer. And all your proud houses and all your proud names can not put Humpty together again.”

November 28, 2010

Isaiah 2:1-5
Psalm 122
Romans 13:11-14
Matthew 24:36-44

“Stay awake. Watch. Be ready,” declare our readings for this first Sunday of a new church year. But ready for what? Be financially ready to provide for our children’s education and for our retirement in the grand style we prefer? Be ready to charge off to the malls the instant the seasonal sales du jour begin? And as for staying awake – we’re already far too tired and stressed out trying to get everything done that needs to be done for the perfect holidays. And speaking of “watch,” shouldn’t we be watching our stock portfolios more closely so that we’ll be ready to seize the opportune moment to buy and to sell?